My Working Mother Depression

I'm still receiving junk mail from the previous residents of my chic, uptown flat.  Today's loot consisted of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond catalogue, an invitation to Driving School, and a copy of Working Mother Magazine. The things you humans subscribe to . . . 

While waiting for my sweet potato casserole to re-heat, I managed to page through the articles of Working Mother.  What caught my eye was an expose on the potential for depression in the working mother's life.  I quickly Googled the causes of depression and to my surprise, found that I, indeed suffer from nearly all the symptoms. 

Sleep disorder - With the temperature dropping and my refusal to turn on the heat, I can't sleep a wink!

Interest Deficit - Citrus is going out of season, so is my enthusiasm for gourmet, at home dining. 

Guilt - I still blame myself for what happened to Mighty Joe Young.  How could he have known any better?

Energy Deficit - Without my morning Starbucks, I'm worthless. Just worthless.

Concentration Deficit - What am I even writing about anymore? 

Appetite Disorder - I have been eating fewer bananas, but I'm on the South Beach Diet. They don't allow me any leeway! 

Psychomotor Retardation - It took me 30 seconds to type those two words . . . 

Suicidal Tendencies - I don't think I've made it this far. But I'm not a working mother.