Hello KitThai

Thai police officers who commit minor, work-related offenses will be forced to wear Hello Kitty armbands to atone for their actions.   

While this may seem unreasonable, here are some things that would serve as a much harsher form of punishment if you were forced to wear them:

- Leeches

- Wet Jean Shorts

- Your heart on your sleeve . . . literally.

- A beehive

- An Oakland Raiders Jersey

- The new line of UnderArmor, complete with maple syrup interior. 

Not Actors, Real People

The new Microsoft ac campaign for Windows Vista features a disclaimer on the bottom of the screen:

Not actors, real people.

I wonder how this makes the aspiring actor feel.  Probably less real.  Probably less human.  But from what I understand about American culture,  artsy-folk buy Mac anyway. 

My Working Mother Depression

I'm still receiving junk mail from the previous residents of my chic, uptown flat.  Today's loot consisted of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond catalogue, an invitation to Driving School, and a copy of Working Mother Magazine. The things you humans subscribe to . . . 

While waiting for my sweet potato casserole to re-heat, I managed to page through the articles of Working Mother.  What caught my eye was an expose on the potential for depression in the working mother's life.  I quickly Googled the causes of depression and to my surprise, found that I, indeed suffer from nearly all the symptoms. 

Sleep disorder - With the temperature dropping and my refusal to turn on the heat, I can't sleep a wink!

Interest Deficit - Citrus is going out of season, so is my enthusiasm for gourmet, at home dining. 

Guilt - I still blame myself for what happened to Mighty Joe Young.  How could he have known any better?

Energy Deficit - Without my morning Starbucks, I'm worthless. Just worthless.

Concentration Deficit - What am I even writing about anymore? 

Appetite Disorder - I have been eating fewer bananas, but I'm on the South Beach Diet. They don't allow me any leeway! 

Psychomotor Retardation - It took me 30 seconds to type those two words . . . 

Suicidal Tendencies - I don't think I've made it this far. But I'm not a working mother. 

Dow drops, blame Orszag or Vick?

The Dow Jones has seen modest, yet steady decreases today after the highest two day gain in 20 years.  On her show last night, Rachel Maddow proposed that Obama's nomination of his economic advisors had inspired confidence in the market. Today, Obama named Peter Orszag to be his new budget chief. 

My question:  If Maddow's theory is correct, why hasn't the Orszag nomination inspire a market spike today?

My answer: Michael Vick is back in the headlines, pleading guilty to dog fighting charges in Virginia.  We can't have animal cruelty news infiltrating the media in times of economic crisis.   Dog fighting gives people bad vibes.  Bad vibes keep people from investing.  Would you invest in Alpo or Pedigree if you had just read a headline about Michael Vick?

Welcome to Gorilla Philosophy!

In honor of the new blog, here is an homage to some famous fictional monkeys, courtesy of Wiki.

Haiku Gorilla - A member of the Legion of Net Heroes.

Shift, the Ape - The antagonist of The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis' final book in the Narnia series.

Famous Ape - Mentioned in Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Esther - The chimpanzee from the film Monkey Business.

The Saiyan Gorilla - The giant gorilla Saiyan's turn into in the Dragon Ball series.